Life is Ace according to Blakey

Life is ACE. Life is extreme. Life is people. Life is wearing no bra, getting all wet, and jumping up and down aimlessly. There is no why. Then, such purpose, such dedication, determination, such complete utter lunacy. What a unique human this Andrew Cotton character is. His stag do was a good reflection of his personality. There was no point making a man strip naked and wear silly costumes when he has done that most days for the last 20 years of his life. More ridiculous would have been to make him sit there and read a book or watch a movie, which I’ve never seen him do. He is too thirsty, thirsty for life, the people in it and their idiosyncrasies. We did buy him a leg humping uniform; a leather sausage holder but he was being so interestingly ludicrous without it that we made Lyndon Wake wear it and his morph costume instead. Cotton is very humble about his big wave antics and much prefers talking about penises. “I’d prefer to watch your penis bounce up and down for an hour than watch an episode of big brother” was a text I received from him last night. In fact Jonesy and I had to steal his limelight on our visit to the XXL penis awards in LA proclaiming ourselves to everyone as “Big Shits” with $50.000 prize money to throw at the moon. Not Andy, he doesn’t even like talking about it. How was catching that 50ft wave? “Yea was alright yea” Is the most you can get out of him. This penchant for extremity has transferred itself to his new life as an extremely exceptional father to little Ace Cotton. Just the other day I was round there when it was Ace’s bath time. Ace kept saying: arrrrrrrrr marrrrrrrrrrrr rrrarrrrrrrrrrrrr. “Shut up steve or I’ll put you in the bin” was cottons response. But he never did and he never will. Just jokes, because life doesn’t always have to be so serious. Although as a parent why not just put a baby in a room (not a bin) where you can’t hear it and just let in cry until it stops? And why not just not let it sleep in the day, make it wait until evening, then it will be so tired it won t wake you up all night? Shall I write a book? Cotton will be extreme as a family man. Extremely exceptional. His little girl is Honeylicous and his boy is Acemazing and his future wife is fabulous and very understanding! She too is unique, in that she laughs in the face of his physical and metaphorical bouncing penis instead of chastising it and his personality as thousands would. She is certainly not a handbrake and Andy and Ace are very lucky to nestle in the metaphorical and physical bosom of her humanity. Looking forward to the wedding in September! Andrew Blake (Ba hons, Cert ed) Sponsor me to shave my head here: https://www.justgiving.com/thebigcfundraiser Book a BayFitness Health, lifestyle and Fitness or SURFIT retreat here: http://www.bayfitness.co.uk/Retreats.htm

Herding Cats

I’m Ross, a.k.a Andy and my friend Cotty asked me to produce a few words for his blog, so he can slack off from updating it himself for a couple weeks… I’m going talk to you about the recovery from our stag do in Barcelona last week, I can’t remember much, and what I can I haven’t come to terms with myself yet. 16 of us made the trip entitled ‘Barcelunacy’, and contrary to popular belief most of us made it back after successfully putting a financial rescue package straight into the heart of the economy. We felt we played a big part in stabilising the country allowing Xabi Alonso and co to concentrate on knocking France out of Euro 2012 (don’t worry Cotton he’s a famous kickballer, there’s a big ‘kickballing’ competition on at the moment) So I’m writing this from my bed, its 10.15pm on a Saturday night and those of you who have met me know this is an unusual place to find me at this point in the week, a week on and I’m still ruined, I’ve caught some stupid bug that’s kickin’ my ass, why me? I’m normally the one who laughs in the face of all nighters at Glastonbury, not this time, this time my numbers up! Yet everyone else was back to the grind within a couple days… Cotty swam the beach in under 8 minutes on Tues (B.S.D) Jonesy (last man standing) went to work after a 3hours sleep, straight back in the rhythm. A. Blake was running his boot camps and yoga sessions on Tuesday. I. Blake steadily worked his way through list of jobs his pregnant girlfriend had kindly left for him, he almost enjoyed it, same again next time Tam. Macca text saying he was enjoying a 4pk of Stella on Tuesday night. I gather Rim, Rob, Neil, Si, Horley, Turner and Lyndon(the quiet one) all integrated back into society with relative ease Only Josh complained a lot, of feeling anxious, vulnerable and shivery. The Bevans’ status is still unknown, I wrote their postcodes on their arms if found please return, we like them. So in conclusion I’ve decided I can’t handle it anymore and I’m hanging up my party hat……for now anyway.

Barca-Lunacy

I’ve got amazing mates, there amazing in so many different ways. Each individual and bringing something a little different to the group every time and the best bit about it is there not all surf, surf, surf which although we all do enjoy it it’s not the only thing in life that can put a smile on your face. So I had my stag do last weekend, as you can imagine it was carnage from the second I left my front door. 16 extreme individuals roaming Barcelona for a whole weekend, but it wasn’t your stereotypical stag where I got made to wear silly costumes, having to do ridiculous for fits or got tied to a lamppost, humiliated and left for the night. Let’s face it there’s just no need. Like I said everyone contributed something a little different and in some cases a little strange which was a relief as no one judged and the focus wasn’t all on me for the weekend and everyone just behaved like themselves with no peer pressure to be something they’re not or someone they don’t want to be. We spent the majority of the weekend practicing our sprinting up and down the boardwalk as A Blake demonstrates above. Another average weekend really.

3 Wise Men

I love my iPhone. It's that obsessive compulsive behaviour that I'm doomed with and I find it so hard just to put the bloody thing down. Everything too excess and so far from normal it gets worrying. So much so I just got this new water proof casing for it the other day so I can even take it in the shower with me now. I’m never doing anything important or in particular, just scrolling up and down through social networking sites making the odd sarcastic comment hoping someday I’ll get a reply. I took this abnormal behaviour to the next level last week when I signed my 2 month old son Ace Winston up to twitter and began having a conversation with myself in the twitter sphere. Holy shit I’m losing it and need help, I can’t even find the time to do the simplest thing anymore let alone blog as I’m constantly looking at my iPhone. Luckily for me I’ve got the 3 wise men to help. Let’s just call them The Andys even though one is called Ross but names aren’t important here as they’re all the best men for my wedding in September. They’re going to do a few blogs for me over the next month. They’ll be funnier not as negative and probably won’t rant as much. Or maybe they will? I more than likely won’t read it as I’ll be too busy on my phone doing nothing.

Finally won something....

I’m so stoked I’ve won this new Mark Visser iPhone case. I never really win anything and this has to be up there with one of my all time life wins. Although I did travel out to LA last weekend with my good mates from home, Andy and Andy and had a 3 day Andy fest at the Billabong XXL awards where I was in the final for the ‘Biggest Wave 2012’ category (you might or might not have seen something about it on the net or in the mags but probably not) which has to be up there too. Of course I didn’t win, I didn’t think in a million years I would but it was a chance for us Andy’s to bond a little, wear matching pink pants and pretend we’re big shit to complete strangers. Every cloud has a silver lining though and as well as having the most fun humanly possible without being arrested or dying, Gmac got the nod from the judges at the awards and claimed 1st prize. A new world record was set and 15 grand prize purse which he very kindly split with me for whipping him into the beast back on 1st November 2011 at Nazare, Portugal. You could say I’m pretty stoked, it’s been a huge year for me in every way imaginable, Baby, marriage, XXL nomination and just being involved in a world record. Thanks to everyone who helped make it happen, family, sponsors, Analog, tiki, The Thatch, bay spas and friends, Al Mennie, Garrett and Nicole, The Andys and of course not forgetting Mark Visser...... I love that iPhone case.

Cone head

Our next door neighbour has 4 cars. fair enough, there’s no laws on how many cars you’re allowed in life although I expect it must be quite expensive to keep them all on the road as I struggle just to keep my shit yellow van taxed and insured but maybe he’s a footballer or something, I hear they usually have loads of cars but not sure who he would be playing for living in Braunton. It is quite excessive but then again he’d probably think I’m excessive with the amount of surfboards I have in my life. It’s not the cars that bother me though as I’m not really into cars, as long as they get me from A to B and are reasonably safe I don’t care what I drive. The thing that I can’t understand is that after taking up all the parking spaces outside our house with his 4 cars he also feels the need to reserve a parking space with a freaking CONE whenever he takes one for a spin. I don’t understand it. Am I missing something here? Every time I see this CONE I want to break down and cry, I’m not sure why but it just makes me really sad and a little frustrated with life. On a brighter non-CONE note I just booked a ticket to LA to go to the XXL awards. I’m sure it will be a whole lot of fun and an experience to tell the kids when they’re older. Thanks to everyone for the support this year, ANALOG, TIKI and The THATCH in Croyde. Very much appreciated and looking forward to next winter already.

The way that I do it.

Long ago a wise man once told me ‘It’s not what you do it’s the way that you do it’. Take from that what you will but I think I know what he was getting at which is why after the drunken phone calls, twitter harassment, leg humping and chasing the Editor-in-Chief of the above magazine through a field I’d be pretty surprised if they’d ever want to run a shot of me for the rest of my surfing days. Fair enough why would they.
So you could say I was shocked when I heard they wanted to run a shot of me in the above issue although at the same time extremely happy. But when I bought my copy, which you can too from any good news agent and realised I didn’t have just one but two double page shots and a couple of inserts I couldn’t quite believe it. They even describe me as their ‘favourite plumber’.
Might phone him up late on Saturday night, early Sunday morning and thank him personally or maybe just hump his leg again next time I see him, I know how much he’d appreciate it.

Ace Winston Cotton

I like a good coffee in the morning, trouble is in North Devon if you want a decent one before 9 or 10 you’ll be lucky because nowhere is usually open. The other day I walked into a cafe at 9.57am to get my morning latte and was told I would have to wait outside 3 minutes until they opened, obviously I asked if I could just get one 3 minutes early but was denied as they officially didn’t open till 10am. I didn’t wait.
So this is little Honey with her new brother Ace, bless them. I’m relieved he’s finally here because the same questions and baby spiel was tipping me over the edge. ‘Are you excited?’ ‘is Honey excited?’ ‘do you know what you’re having’? Boy or girl?’, ‘what would you prefer?’ and my favourite, the classic ‘not long now then!’
What can I say, childbirth: A truly amazing experience which can’t be described and no one would believe unless you’ve actually been there which brought tears to my eyes but I’m not one of these dads who’s deluded about his child as to be honest he looked a little bit like a blue E.T when he first came out. Surprisingly he isn’t ginger, but he does have massive red balls just like his dad. Welcome to the world Ace I’m sure you’ll love it.

Last month

South Of The Border, Volume 3. from Luke Pilbeam on Vimeo.

I could post the video of all the XXL nominations and bleat on about I’m not just in them for the biggest wave but I also towed Gmac into his nomination for ride of the year too and how great I must be but I’m a pretty modest guy and not one to blow my own trumpet. Instead check out the last clip we made of our winter in Ireland and the lead up to THAT Mullaghmore session.

Paul the Plumber from Bundoran

Wonder what Paul the plumber from Bundoran has been up to the past few weeks. Probably fixed some leaky taps, fitted a heating system or bathroom then gone down The Chasing Bull had a few beers with the boys, harassed the band playing then did some lunges and maybe a press up or 2.
I on the other hand got towed into a wave at Mullaghmore which ended up getting some XXL attention which got me on the telly at home and abroad, the cover of a surf mag, made back page on the North Devon Journal, was in the Gold Coast Bulletin in Aus and just pretty much got global surfing attention. You could say I wasn’t expecting that and I do apologise if towards the end of the week you were bored senseless and tired of seeing or hearing about it, it wasn't completely my fault. Rather than bore everyone even more with the same shot by posting my cover shot or the XXL entry I thought a photo of me and Paul would be more appropriate, I am missing him.