Annoying dog next door

I just love hanging out with all types of animals it really makes my day, they just seem never to get bored and always happy to see you, well except our next door neighbour’s dog which constantly seems to bark at you. She keeps coming out and apologising for it's continuous outbursts and noise pollution saying ‘don’t be scared it won’t bite’ and ‘its only barking cause he knows no one should be living there.’ Like I’m going to be scared of that little yapping thing it’s about the size of a fecking rabbit, plus I know she’s lying because I’ve seen the fecking thing barking at everything and anyone that passes the house. Anyway apart from the stupid little barking rabbit dog thing that lives next door I love all animals.
Been seeing a lot of donkeys recently and there soon turning into my new favourite. This is Lionel and Neil, we met for the first time just yesterday but we seemed to click and there now on my list of animals to visit whenever I’ve got a spare 5 minutes.
As for the surf, yeah it’s been pumping, yeah we’re been getting barrelled and yeah we’ve been having fun, haven’t got any footage or photos of it though but I have got a couple of epic donkey ones.  

Giant Cow contest

After 9 hours of driving a 2 ½  hour flight and a 1 ½ hour long heat in 10-12 ft solid surf you don’t really feel like chatting to people or even being slightly sociable.
Just been down in Santander for the Quicksilver La Vaca IV gigantica big wave paddle comp you see and although it didn’t go exactly to plan we had some good times. I got to pick up my new Channel Islands 9’3” gun which the guys at Analog very kindly gave me and I also got to surf La Vaca which means ‘Giant cow’ but unfortunately the final was pulled due to the inconsistent swell. Pretty typical really because out of the 16 invitees myself and Al made it to the final 8 which I was pretty stoked about, I think it’s been some time since i've actually made it through a heat as my competitive side of things has never been that hot.
Don’t think this old fella was judging or had anything to do with the contest for that matter but he seemed happy as Larry cruising around the competitors area making the most of the free food and drink, I haven’t got a clue what his name is and to be fair couldn’t understand a word he was saying but he was smiling a lot and gesticulating about which I thought was brilliant, I think he’s in training and wants to get involved for next year. I can’t wait.

BSD

I’ve got this strange habit of obsessing with a word then repeating it constantly and randomly putting it into sentences where it doesn’t make any sense what so ever, it doesn’t even have to be a word sometimes it’s just a noise. firstly I went through a phase of going ‘mi’ all the time, it didn’t mean anything I just kept doing it, then it was ‘woof’ like the dog bark and then I couldn’t help but say ‘midgets ‘ at everything and everyone I saw or met. It must be a nightmare for anyone who spends anytime with me, not just because I’m really annoying to be around when I’m bleating on about nonsense making odd noises but I’ve also noticed that it rubs off on people too. If I say a word enough other people I’m with subconsciously start saying it and using it. The past month I’ve been obsessed with the word ‘dick’ I’m constantly saying it to myself and manage to slip it in to most conversations and scenario’s. The worst is when i'm looking for a word in my head but end up just replacing the word i'm wanting to say with dick.
Yesterday I had a full on wrestling match with the ski on a remote beach after a little mission we had looking for waves, almost loosing the plot and thinking to myself we’d never get the fecking ski off the beach I went dick crazy. I must of repeated it about 100 times as I tried to get the ski onto the trailer and the trailer off the fecking sand. We did it in the end and I’m not going to lie it was a mission but the funny thing was, when we’d got changed and started heading off for home Lyndon looked at me and said ‘that was a right old dick fight’  I just replied ‘ yep a fecking massive one.’

Scapegoat

Builders and tradesman have this funny knack of blaming each other when things aren’t running to schedule, it’s like ‘oh things are taking so long because I’m waiting for the carpenter’ which then gets the customer off their backs and onto the said trade that was mentioned. It’s happened to me a few times before, getting calls telling me i'm holding everything up like and there life depends on it then when you get there all you have to do is turn off a tap or less, but you just take it on the chin then give as good as you get next time a similar situation arises.
This sort of happened this week; I’ve been putting off leaving Devon as I’ve been waiting to finish some bathrooms. Getting more impatient and not wanting to miss any more swells I booked my ticket regardless of my little plumbing jobs but as I left work yesterday I got asked the golden question ‘when do you think the on-suite will be finished?’ I just replied ‘probably not for some time as I’m going away for a bit tomorrow’ then I quickly put in ‘I’ve been trying to get in there for weeks but the tiller has been holding me up’. Technically I wasn’t lying as I would of had it done if he hadn’t been in there the last 2 days although it was me holding him up in the first place but like I say I had to blame someone and it’s not like I’ve left them without a toilet or running water and i'm sure the tiller would of done the same to me if it was the other way round.
Oh yeah and Red Bull have given us a ski to use, it’s a Kawasaki 1600 supercharged which is 250Hp, the thing is deadly and could do some serious damage. Me and Lyndon took it for a little spin the other day to see how it goes.....Look out!
Photo: Rob Tibbles

Inspiration

Remember the time that Braunton man caught that massive fish that everyone was talking about which made the cut for the back page of the North Devon Journal. Well for Christmas my good mate Wakey got him to sign a copy and framed it for me. I’m so stoked and think it’s possibly the best present I had this year, well apart from the handkerchiefs my mum bought me from Marks and Spencers which left me slightly confused. Do grown men even use handkerchiefs? I always thought it was young kids and OAP’s, but I thanked her none the less.
‘To Andrew, Maybe one day you’ll be as famous as me! Cheers Leggey’ is what he wrote at the top of it and hopefully he’s right. I’m going to take it to Ireland with me where it’s going to take pride and place on my bedside table and every morning I’ll look at and use it as inspiration to help me get through my day. Who knows maybe one day when I’m broke, desperate and homeless it will be worth a shit load of cash and I’ll sell it on eBay.
Cheers for the present Wakey yer BSD, top bloke and thank you leggey for taking the time out of your busy fishing schedule to sign it for me.

Tough call

Thought I’d post this old clip that Mr B made a few years back in Scotland. There’s a couple of things that stick out in my mind about this clip, the first is the same swell was hitting Ireland and the call was that Aileen’s was going to fire. I also knew Scotland was going to be good and had one of those situations where you just wish you could be in two places at once; it wasn’t an easy decision with hours spent on the phone to Al Mennie and Tim Nunn trying gage conditions and swell size to make the right call, but I managed to make it but proceeded to insist on phoning Al every hour to get a Irish swell report which would then affect my mood depending on the news, you could say it was an up and down few days full of different moods and self flagellation.
The other thing was Mr B who was filming had this hideous back problem and could only lie down or stand up. So he spent the whole drive up there lying in the back of the van moaning with every bump and corner as he was in so much pain, poor bloke even had to stand up when we went out for meals. I remember on the last night eating at this nice pub and getting some odd looks as myself and Tim tucked into our steaks sitting at the table and Mr B tucked into his whilst awkwardly standing up looking down on us grimacing in pain with every bite. That shows the commitment right there I think you’ll have to agree.
Oh and If I remember correctly Aileen’s was huge, Al tried to paddle it and Ben Skinner, Mole and a few other Irish lads towed. Mole got a cover shot on Pit Pilot mag and Al got cleaned the fuck up trying to paddle from the bottom of the cliff. Still not sure if I made the right call or not.

Pissed up bloke I once saw outside the pub.

I’ve got this vivid memory of seeing this guy outside the pub one night smashed out his face, he seemed to be alone and just rolling around on the bonnet of this car (which obviously wasn’t his) spilling his beer all over himself before smashing it on the floor. I just watched him for a few minutes as he tried to pick himself off the bonnet of this car and stagger off down the road laughing and shouting to himself like some sort of lunatic. I remember thinking ‘fuck that’s that saffa guy that rips and he’s possibly the most pissed person I’ve ever seen’.
Although then I didn’t know his name or ever speak to him, 15 years later I’ve come to know this pissed up saffa personally, spending months with him in Hawaii and hanging out at home. He’s put a bit of weight on now mind you since I first saw him but he still surfs pretty good and like most saffas from the Cape Town area likes to charge too.
Well he’s been back In SA now for a few months and for some reason has taking up filming, shame really cause I think he’d do pretty good in front of the camera, just for the fact it’s inspiring to see such a keg with legs surfing so good but lucky for him his bro surfs pretty good too and he’s slightly slimmer and more pleasing on the eye. Check out the clip I think you’ll like it.

Britain's best naked Plumber

“What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing bey?” “What’s it look like Barry” “I’m being Britain’s best naked plumber.”  
I know it is a slightly odd thing to do on a building site and Barry was slightly worried about the Health and Safety aspects but I had to start somewhere if I really want to make a name for myself in this plumbing world. I did originally enter myself for Britain’s best young plumber award which was on TV the other week but I didn’t even make it through the first round, they said I wasn’t passionate or committed enough and the fact I only really plumbed for about 2 months of the year I couldn’t really even call myself a plumber and there was a slight indication what sort of person they were looking for in the title and being 30 doesn’t really qualify me as ‘young’.
Obviously I told them I didn’t even want to be in there shit programme anyway and was going to make my own award and programme hence me being butt naked at work on Friday morning, thing is I’ve got to act fast if I want to make it as the best naked plumber in Britain because come January I don’t have the slightest intention of plumbing one bit, in fact on new year’s eve I’m going to drive to Baggy Point and launch my pipe benders off the end then throw all my spanners at the moon. But until then I am available for hire, although I do charge slightly more for the naked plumbing day rate as I am currently the best in Britain.

Loose Human

I’m a loose and unpredictable human, it just the way I am. I also hate the cold; really hate it which is why like a lot of my behaviour and actions leaves me slightly confused. After plumbing my fingers to the bone the past month and getting some cash together I’ve decided to spend the next 3 months in Ireland, yep not Indo, Hawaii or any other warmer climates where the sun shines and the waters warm. Ireland, where the wind blows and the average air temp is sub zero. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do but never fully committed too, usually shying away at the last minute or opting for the sunnier option and who could blame me as I do really really hate the cold.
I’ll be taking my GoPro cameras to do my standard DIY stuff, I hope to make a couple of short clips with the help of Richard at Wavedreamer, they’ll consist of the usual things I like filming, maybe some rocks, fields, defiantly some animals and hopefully a couple of waves.
 As usual the photo has very little to do with this but it was taken in Ireland when I was over there last time with the old boys and bear the dog. Bear had a bum deal to be honest, he cut his foot on the first day so was having a shocker from word go, he couldn’t walk properly or join us on our searches for flotsam and as if like a final kick in the swingers they don’t even let dogs in the pubs. So as you can imagine he spent a lot of time on his own probably thinking that Ireland s the shittest place for a dog to go on holiday ever. Hopefully my 3 month little stint will be slightly better.

Flotsam

Found this boat in a field pretty close to a little bay on the last day I was in Ireland, the old boys I was hanging out with are obsessed with walking the coast looking for ‘flotsam’  Which basically means they walk along the shore line looking for wood, fishing boys, nets, rope and any other random junk that gets washed up on the shoreline. They collect it all, drag it back to the van and just hoard it, occasionally spending 5 minutes to knock up an odd fishing boy/rope/wood piece of art before discarding it and leaving it to roll around in the back of the van. You can’t knock it too much as they occasionally find some pretty cool stuff which can be interesting; it’s just an acquired taste I suppose. I don’t mind tagging along just not really into collecting all the ‘flotsam’ and dragging the shit miles back to the van but it is a good way to check out the coast line and scope out waves. When I came across this boat though they got pretty excited and I can pretty much guarantee if they could of dragged it off and fitted it in the back of the van they would of, luckily it was in a field and miles away. I did have to mention that although the boat was in no way sea worthy and looked as it had been there rotting for years, i was positive someone actaually owned it and it would be missed. Instead we just tried to work out how old it was and how many lobster’s it had probably caught which filled a good 10 minutes before going back to looking for flotsam again.