New name for matey boy.

I’ve renamed my van ‘Twat’ I used to call it matey boy but that was when we got on and I felt it was taking me places, now it’s just become unreliable and just breaks down when you really need him to push on through almost like its slowly giving up the game, costing me a feck load of money in the process. The last time it broke down I had this sudden urge, instead getting it towed to the nearest garage to get it fixed, I’d get it towed to the nearest lake, dowse it in petrol, set fire to the fecker then push its burning corpse in and watch it slowly sink then just forget about it and pretend I never even owned a van.
I didn’t though as what would that achieve, bit like cutting off your nose to spite your face or whatever that saying is and although I have renamed my van Twat deep down I still have a lot of love for it. So I took it to the garage where they performed life saving surgery on its vital bits and he now lives to tell another tale, well for the time being.....