Over and out.

I don’t even like surfing anymore; I am getting on now. Might give up, sell all my boards and get a full time plumbing job in Barnstaple, you know 6 days a week shuffling round on my knees from 8 to 5, under sinks, behind toilets and under floorboards. Save some cash, buy a house and settle down. I am engaged for feck sake and have to think about my future and reasonability’s.
Only joking, had you for a second though didn’t I. Bet my Dad almost had a smile on his face then, Although like he says if I had a brain in my head that’s what I would be doing but the reality is there’s not a chance. I’m loving life at the minute; just take this last week in Nazare. Got to surf the gnarliest beach break in Europe ranging from 5 to 15ft, got barrelled, hung out with people who all have the same passion and enthusiasm about waves as me which was pretty epic, then went to the premiere of the North Canyon Show with Garrett McNamara at the cinema in Lisbon to check myself out on the big screen; yeah I’m sort of a big deal in Portugal right now. I’M NOT. So to celebrate my new found Portuguese fame I partied all night, drank 40 Super Bock, trashed my apartment and threw my TV out the window. I DIDN’T. That’s got to be a good week by anyone’s standard. Can’t wait to come back for the next big swell but for now I hear there are some toilets that need fixing in Barnstaple, better look out the knee pads.

Back to earth with a bang

After a solid driving marathon from Scotland to London to drop my co pilots off, being stuck in a traffic jam on the M4 for 2 hours, getting lost in Swindon trying to follow a ridiculous diversion, getting to Cardiff to swap vehicles only to find out my shit yellow van won’t start, waiting for the AA then downing enough Redbull to stimulate my brain until I reached North Devon I somehow found it quite hard to sleep when I got home late on Sunday so I booked a ticket to Portugal leaving the next day to catch up with my friends at Nazare. To be honest I’d missed the first day of the swell which was by far the biggest but the weeks forecast wasn’t looking to shabby so I thought what the hell, the crew here are always so friendly and after the first couple of waves it was already worth it. Ok so it’s not huge but not so small either and I can promise you this beachie packs a punch.
The shot is how not to deal with the shore break, I was trying to avoid the whole being stuck inside beach scenario which I’d gone through about 6 times already this session it’s a nightmare but instead I pretty much launched myself 20ft high landing face first onto what felt like concrete, knocking the wind out of myself not being able to breathe then having to go get my board from the beach anyway. You live and learn and next time I’ll man up and just pull in, its way easier.

Need some space

I freaking hate surfing in crowds and Croyde has to be the worst place for it. A small beach with a few peaks, add about 4 or 5 surf schools some Londoners and half the population of North Devon who has a surfboard and a heartbeat and you have your average low tide session. So I was stoked to be away last week, Ok so the waves weren’t as epic or maybe as good as Croyde but there certainly wasn’t anybody about and I pretty much had any wave I wanted. Took this shot of a couple of the boys doing some portraits just as the sun was setting after one of the better days of surfing, isn’t it just beautiful.

inappropriate word HERE

Footpaths, peelers and caves from wavedreamer on Vimeo.

Agh involuntary groaning noises, I'm having a shocker at the moment with this freaking blog. First there was that suck job scenario that wasn't deemed appropriate and now my personal description and choice of words on the HAPPYLAND blog i posted a week ago has ruffled a few feathers and made some guy called IRBmad think I've got a stick up my arse. I haven't. I bet that's not even his real name anyway, he's probably called Clive or Barry. What's wrong with Clive or Barry IRBmad there lovely names. I'm going to have to change my approach to this blog stuff then and just do product reviews and write lovely things about how great everything is, where to buy them and how brilliant we all are, that or just censor it. I'm in the Hebrides at the moment, put inappropriate word HERE followed by a controversial sentence HERE, its cold windy and the surf isn’t that great either.... Shit I'm being negative again and moaning, sorry all humans living in the Hebrides please don’t take it personally.
Check out this little short filmed by Mikey from Wavedreamer it won some sort of competition or something like that in London or somewhere. Mikeys the most amazing human in world and Wavedreamers the best company ever blah blah blah..... Enough already but it is a nice little vid.

What an amazing Indian summer.........

I’m sick of all this Indian summer shit, a few days of sunshine and the whole of the UK goes nuts, add a run of about 4 days of slightly above average surf and you’d think that Devon isn’t too bad a place to live. With all this excitement its almost compulsory that you have to tell this to every person you meet, not just for pointless and time wasting conversation but also to confirm and reassure yourself that living in the UK just really isn’t that bad. ‘Can’t believe how great the surfs been, oh and this Indian summer we’re getting too.’
I made the most the little run of waves and the UK’s Indian summer by surfing heaps and sunbathing naked in the dunes at Saunton sands, I also embarked on a epic journey, fully clothed of course as we began this little project that’s going to be called ‘Here but were’. The guys at Wavedreamer are working day and night and will hopefully soon have a little clip to post up to enlighten you all on our voyage.

HAPPYLAND

HAPPYLAND a place where you wear nothing but a smile on your face, money means nothing and the burgers and chips are free. It’s not it’s a tacky amusements in Bournemouth on the sea front where I was this weekend at the European IRB Championships where I was doing a bit of safety cover. I’m new to all this IRB racing scene which is part of the whole Surf Life Saving sport so I was calling it RIB racing for the first 24 hours until I realised I was just embarrassing myself and confirming I was completely out the loop.
So what would I say about IRB racing then, well like all surf life savers they love walking around in there dick togs and have to wear something at all times that either says LIFEGUARD, RESCUE, IRB or RNLI on it which is far enough. As for the racing part, well pretty much grown men and the occasional woman jump in their boats really fast, hoon across flat water, throw a young girl or the occasional boy into their boat really fast, which is classed as the rescue then hoon back. Its carnage and looks freaking dangerous to me but these guys take it dam serious. As long as there having fun that’s the main thing really.

Hot dogs for tea Terry

I just want to get one thing straight and apologise, no one is sucking anyone off male or female. Bumped into my mate Richard from wavedreamer today, you know the nice guy who’s aiming to make me more professional and attractive to sponsors and he very kindly warned me ‘Cotty my friend just be careful as I don’t want to be the one to say I told you so, but if you insist on writing about men sucking you off on your blog you could lose sponsorship or even possible sponsorship in the future.’ He has a point so I do apologise its I just like to write things down that come straight into my head and not censor things to much as it all gets a bit boring and predictable.
Did you know the majority for prisoners who try to escape prison do so when there nearing the end of their sentence, pretty odd hey but I kind of get where there coming from, I’m due to finish work this week and although I’m not comparing it to a prison sentence. Some days I’m sure would be very similar. I did try and escape early but due to a few misfortunes there was no way out and had to see it to the bitter end. But there’s light at the end of this tunnel called life as winters here and I’m pretty much free to do what I want, within reason of course and until I run out of money and have to get another job again or even worse do some plumbing.
Surfed Croydes excuse for a reef tonight, surprisingly fun. My pretend friend Josh took the photo.

A serious Question

Is it cheating if I got sucked off by a man? Is what I asked my girlfriend ‘No matter what you got sucked off by I’d finish with you’ ‘but I would have a little chuckle to myself if it was a man’ was her reply, not that I want to get sucked off by a man or anything It was just in one of those questions that I’ve asked a lot of people the past week, as you do.
Been killing it on the contest scene lately so much so I think I missed my calling in life, did the Redbull break5 and went absolutely crazy. Unfortunately it wasn’t in the sea it was on the dance floor where I lunged and did press ups until I couldn’t move and had to be carried home, it happens from time to time as I just get far too excited and have more energy than humanly possible for any normal man in his thirties, inevitably I lost my heats so learning from my mistakes which I always try to do I took a very different game plan to the Eyeball inter clubs held at the Woolacombe wave at the weekend. Obviously this wasn’t your normal surfing contest for a start it’s not even a real wave but none the less it’s freaking hard to do so avoiding any sort of booze, lunging or press ups I helped team Putsborough take a win over Woolacombe and Croyde to bring back the first bit of silver wear to the most expensive place to park your car for a surf in the world. Go Putts A Team yeeew.
Photo: Rob Tibbles

new dog next door

I’ve sort of lost my way with this blog thing, it was supposed to be all about how good at surfing I am, how much coverage I get and to let every man and his dog that could read and use the internet know. Just been sorting some of this year’s coverage out which oddly enough I haven’t posted any of it up on here. Not sure why I just suppose it’s all a bit boring really, found this shot by Gary McCall which was run on a surfing internet site and also in print in an international surf mag. ‘Want to support these guys sooo badly but its fat and your shoulder hoping’ was one comment and ‘I think they were asking for publicity. The presence of 2 photographers gives that away’ was another on the article published on the surfing site, both have a fair point.
Remember that time when I lived in Ireland and the dog next door just wouldn’t stop fecking barking at me, well there’s a similar situation going on where I live now. There was a couple living next door and at first I could always hear them arguing but now the woman’s disappeared and has been replaced by a massive fecking dog that just doesn’t bark when It see’s you, it constantly barks no matter fecking what. I wonder where the woman’s gone; can you just trade humans in for dogs now at pet shops? Or maybe she left and he just wanted a companion who didn’t slam doors? Not sure but I just hate that constant barking noise.

Photo: http://www.potatobread.co.uk/

Organised fun.

I hate organised fun, I know hates a strong word and I’m massively in the minority here as everyone else I know seems to love it but I just can’t stand the feeling that I should have to, I want to be having fun when I want to be having fun and feel like fun, not when someone suggests I should be having fun by organising something weeks even months in advance and telling me it’s now fun time. What if at the time of organising I feel like fun but when the day finally comes round all I want to do is sit at home with a cup of tea, feet up reading Dear Deidre from the back of The Sun. This is the problem I have with this organised fun malarkey.
Went to London the other day and saw this sign, I loved it and was desperate to go in there and get my barnette cut and have some fun but unfortunately didn’t have time. Had to catch a train see and besides there wasn’t a chance I was going to miss it with all the carnage going on up there although it was a close call, thinking about the randomness of having a beer whilst getting my hair cut. They don’t do that in Devon I tell ye. Back to the organised fun, I got engaged on Sunday and there’s going to be a whole heap of organised fun coming up, the thing is I can’t wait as me and Katie always have fun no matter how organised it is and that’s why I want to marry her and I couldn’t be happier.