Pissed up bloke outside the pub #2

Folly of Youth from wavedreamer on Vimeo.



Remember the blog about my mate the pissed up bloke outside the pub,  if not you can check it out HERE. Well we would have made a good team the other night as I went off the richter scale and down the other side, it happens from time to time and I just don’t understand why. Now check out his new edit from Wave dreamer above of young Stu from Woolacombe, its pretty dam cool and i'm looking forward to working with him when he comes out to ireland at some point over the winter.
Oh and just in case you’re interested the Night with Andrew Cotton went well. We raised £900 for Charity, well The Museum of British Surfing but like I’ve said before every charity needs help not just the ones on the telly that make it hard for you to live with yourself.

Need some space

I freaking hate surfing in crowds and Croyde has to be the worst place for it. A small beach with a few peaks, add about 4 or 5 surf schools some Londoners and half the population of North Devon who has a surfboard and a heartbeat and you have your average low tide session. So I was stoked to be away last week, Ok so the waves weren’t as epic or maybe as good as Croyde but there certainly wasn’t anybody about and I pretty much had any wave I wanted. Took this shot of a couple of the boys doing some portraits just as the sun was setting after one of the better days of surfing, isn’t it just beautiful.

Hot dogs for tea Terry

I just want to get one thing straight and apologise, no one is sucking anyone off male or female. Bumped into my mate Richard from wavedreamer today, you know the nice guy who’s aiming to make me more professional and attractive to sponsors and he very kindly warned me ‘Cotty my friend just be careful as I don’t want to be the one to say I told you so, but if you insist on writing about men sucking you off on your blog you could lose sponsorship or even possible sponsorship in the future.’ He has a point so I do apologise its I just like to write things down that come straight into my head and not censor things to much as it all gets a bit boring and predictable.
Did you know the majority for prisoners who try to escape prison do so when there nearing the end of their sentence, pretty odd hey but I kind of get where there coming from, I’m due to finish work this week and although I’m not comparing it to a prison sentence. Some days I’m sure would be very similar. I did try and escape early but due to a few misfortunes there was no way out and had to see it to the bitter end. But there’s light at the end of this tunnel called life as winters here and I’m pretty much free to do what I want, within reason of course and until I run out of money and have to get another job again or even worse do some plumbing.
Surfed Croydes excuse for a reef tonight, surprisingly fun. My pretend friend Josh took the photo.

A serious Question

Is it cheating if I got sucked off by a man? Is what I asked my girlfriend ‘No matter what you got sucked off by I’d finish with you’ ‘but I would have a little chuckle to myself if it was a man’ was her reply, not that I want to get sucked off by a man or anything It was just in one of those questions that I’ve asked a lot of people the past week, as you do.
Been killing it on the contest scene lately so much so I think I missed my calling in life, did the Redbull break5 and went absolutely crazy. Unfortunately it wasn’t in the sea it was on the dance floor where I lunged and did press ups until I couldn’t move and had to be carried home, it happens from time to time as I just get far too excited and have more energy than humanly possible for any normal man in his thirties, inevitably I lost my heats so learning from my mistakes which I always try to do I took a very different game plan to the Eyeball inter clubs held at the Woolacombe wave at the weekend. Obviously this wasn’t your normal surfing contest for a start it’s not even a real wave but none the less it’s freaking hard to do so avoiding any sort of booze, lunging or press ups I helped team Putsborough take a win over Woolacombe and Croyde to bring back the first bit of silver wear to the most expensive place to park your car for a surf in the world. Go Putts A Team yeeew.
Photo: Rob Tibbles

Team Devon

It was the Atlantic Water sports Games the other week and sharing responsibility’s with Tundish I helped choose, register and mentor the team, you know give up my spare time for free to benefit the community and help the young Devon surfing stars of the future and all the shit. Check them out, well not all of them as a few of them couldn’t be arsed to turn up for the first team meeting and photo which is fair enough but most of them did, fine bunch of young humans which I chose solely on looks just in case the surf was flat and they ended up doing a beauty contest instead. Unfortunately the surf was well surfable and although team Devon won on looks and hotness we came 3^rd in the surfing and 2^nd overall which was slightly confusing as we kicked some as in the surfing and I’d thought we’d won but I don’t make the rules or understand them for that matter.

bloody nice bloke

I know I’ve said it before but I’m not just dashingly handsome and multi talented, plumber, lifeguard, pro surfer with a bit of modelling thrown in the mixer I’m also a bloody nice bloke, have I ever mentioned my ex girlfriend dumped me because she thought I was a loser?! Croyde Surf Club do a grom session every Monday night and tomorrow myself and Dr Baker are going to take it and the lovely people at Analog have sorted some treats to spread the love, they’re like me bloody nice too. Not 100% what the plan is yet which is a little worrying, not brilliant with kids and I get nervous speaking to more than one person at a time let alone 30 groms but that’s why I got Dr Baker involved he can do airs and shit so the groms will be putty in his hands or so I’m hoping just hope he doesn’t try and dish out any medical advice.

A bit of bush

ANDREW COTTON PROFILE from wavedreamer on Vimeo.
Went and did some tow-ats with Dr Baker today, he may be an aerial specialist but I gave him a run for his money. When I was getting the ski out the water this guy passing asked ‘is your name Andrew’, I thought fair enough I’m sort of a big deal you know maybe he’s seen me in the mags or in the paper and maybe wants a autograph or photo but I Cooley said ‘yeah mate’ quietly waiting for a response he then said ‘I pulled you out a bush a few years back’ ‘I was driving through Croyde and saw some random legs sticking out a bush’ ‘I stopped and helped you out then you demanded I take you to instow for a free party’ I obviously have no recognition of this and was slightly miffed ‘really’ I asked but he assured me it happened so I thanked him then asked if he wanted me to sign anything.
Cheers mate, yep thanks for saving me from bush glad I made an impression. Mikey and Rich from wavedreamer have been working on my profile; they aim to make me professional so I suppose I won’t be saved from any bushes in the next few months, well maybe.

Cracking

I wonder if this guys a plumber?

The Swiss ball swing

I rescued this lad in the sea the other day, he was with 2 other mates but was the only unfortunate one to get caught in the rip and swept out to sea. As I got to him he was pretty relieved as panic had set in and he was starting to see the fear, I got him on the rescue board then started paddling him back to shore. When we got to about knee depth water I got off the board and stood up asking him if he was OK, kind of expecting a ‘thanks’ or a ‘you saved my life’ response but to my surprise I didn’t get either. He just stood up and modally waded through the shallows not talking until he got to his 2 mates who were now waiting for him on the beach, he took off his leash and threw his body board at them shouting ‘thanks for nothing’ there was then a few words shouted back and forth with myself sort of stood there in amazement untill he went and sat by himself half way up the beach. It’s funny what emotions a bit of fear can bring out.
Like most things I generally like training in my pants, it gives you a sense of freedom you don’t get when training fully clothed. I call this one the ‘Swiss ball swing’ where I stand on the ball and swing weights around my head while trying not to fall off, it’s good for the core apparently.

Photo: Jason Feast

Framed for plant pot murder

I got framed for plant pot murder.  I know I can hardly believe it myself, who would do such a thing then have the audacity to get someone else to phone me up and have words with me about it. I also went to see my mother last week, I didn’t mention the framing for plant pot murder scenario as to be honest it happened a long time ago and as I didn’t even do it I find the whole situation quite funny, it’s just water under the bridge.
To tell you the truth I didn’t get to say much to my Mum as from the minute I got there she pretty much talked at me constantly, this is the great thing about my Mum as I don’t like talking much and whenever she’s about I don’t really have to. Amongst a few things she talked at me about there was one I couldn’t quite believe she was actually telling me ‘went to a lovely new restaurant this week’ she said in her mid Devon accent, she’s from Crediton see which defiantly has unique tone ‘such a nice place and amazing service’ ‘I asked for tap water and they gave it to me free’ she said in an excited and surprised way, which at this point I did pipe up and ask if was actually serious or being extremely sarcastic  ‘No Andrew I was very impressed, it came in a lovely jug and even had ice and lemon in it’.
I on the other hand am not so impressed with this but I have started doing a bit of lifeguarding for the summer down at Croyde which in the past few days has been impressive.

Feeling Invinci-ball

I just got my SAS Invinci-Ball tickets in the post, not gunna lie I am a little excited. Myself and A Blake (nice bloke big features generally) are going so it should be a action packed weekend with hopefully not to many cringe worthy scenarios but you just never know as he can be a bit of a loose cannon at times, well a lot of the time to be completely honest and I’m pretty easily led, some may say.
I just hope it goes better than the last time I went way back in 2004, which only saw me at the ball for approximately 30 minutes, got a little over excited you see and when that happens the outcomes can go either way. It was an odd one though from the start, as to how I even got hold of the dam tickets in the first place. A week before the ball I just so happened to be wrestling at a house party in Croyde, it was one of those wrestles which almost got out of control, like they start off all playful but quickly get a bit serious. The problem was it wasn’t one of my mates this tom foolery was happening with; it was a grown woman that I barely knew. The next day I was already giving myself guilty death threats when the phone rang and it was Nick from Redwood surf shop, he seemed to be reviling in his own sobriety from the previous night which is enough to tip anyone over the edge but when he dropped the bombshell that my said wrestling partner had dropped an envelope in for me my heart sank, what the hell could it be? Thoughts of the worst case possible outcome obviously go through your brain and that situation arises where you need to know what’s in that envelope before you can do or think about anything else.
Just so happened that in the envelope was a pair of VIP tickets for the SAS ball with a little note about what a good wrestler I was! Bonus. I thought I was gunna get sued or possibly a restraining order but instead I get given a pair of VIP SAS ball tickets, I couldn’t quite work it out but suddenly life felt good again and Nicks sobriety not so much fun after all!
As I said my VIP ball experience was short lived and went a little like this; I’d given the 2^nd ticket to life companion, housemate and interesting drunk Horley, neither of us knew what to expect and got there a little early, actually really early so the first 20 minutes were spent doing dance floor skids, like the really goods one you used to do at discos when you were at primary school, everyone just stood round the edges not really knowing what to do until someone steps up and breaks the ice by doing a running dance floor knee skid, well that was how we spent the first 20 minutes minus anyone really watching, just a few comments like ‘twats’ and ‘grow up your not in primary school anymore you dicks’. After that the next 5 minutes we spent hunting out the VIP area where the idea was to harass strangers. VIP areas are great for this because everyone’s so bloody cool and these people make perfect targets. Our plan was floored though as the VIP area was pretty much empty, everyone knows cool people are always late. So this moves me on to my final 5 minutes and I have to say this possibly wasn’t the finest 5 minutes of my life.
Some band had started playing and now there are a few more people milling around, I stood at the back of the marquee drinking a beer when something in my brain just clicked and I took off into an auto pilot situation, running across the dance floor, side stepping a couple of people and diving over the barrier in front of the stage, I didn’t want to get on stage or anything, or although no doubt If given half a chance. But I think I’d just seen that sort of thing on TV when watching these festivals with the big crowds and bands playing, crowd surfing, people fainting and getting pulled over the barriers to safety etc I wanted to do that and somehow saw this as my only opportunity in life that I would ever get. Looking back I don’t think it’s that kind of place. The bouncer just grabbed me and asked me to come with him; he quickly cut my VIP wrist band off then bundled me out the Marquee. I spent the rest of the night in the car park thinking thank fuck I didn’t have to pay for that ticket but I’m pretty sure Horley enjoyed himself.   

Chinese whispers

This is Dave, he’s alright really no matter what any photo says about him, although after what I’ve heard about what the fecker has been up to in the last few years you might have a different opinion.
We go way back you see, as like any small village and community everyone knows everyone, their girlfriends, ex girlfriends, where they’ve lived, who with and what went down in each seedy dwelling over the summer months and winter suicide watch, how often they go down the pub, who they talk to and what about when their down there, actually hang on this sounds a bit like facebook! Anyway, me and Dave have known each other for some time; we even worked together many moons ago in at gulfstream surfboards. Eventually Dave managed to leave the bubble for pastures greener, yet I didn’t see or hear from him for some time the old stories always filtered back, slightly exaggerated or misinterpreted but they still came back. That’s why when I got told he’d bought a ski lodge in the Swiss alps I was thinking ‘yeah right that old chest nut’ then 6 months later I also hear he’s bought or partially bought a surf camp in the Mentawai’s. I was thinking it’s all been taking too far this time, these Chinese whispers just can’t be correct and have to stop just for Dave’s sake if no one else’s. Its gunna be more like he was cleaning for some lodge in the Swiss alps then cooking in some shitty surf camp in the Mentawai’s - living the dream briefly for a couple of years before he has to come back home to sunny Devon where nothing’s changed apart from the price of a pint in Billy buds.
Oh how I was wrong, I heard it all from the horse’s mouth just today, so maybe the photo is right! Check out Dave’s endless fun time sun time and mutter ‘cunt’ under your breath!

http://www.mentawai-surfcamp.com/

http://www.snowmotions.com/

Szczepan comes to Croyde for the first AG coffee morning.

This is Szczepan, he’s from Poland and has been travelling round the UK for a year and 7 months, nice bloke and I’m guessing that when he said travelling he means sleeping rough and boozing shit loads as he doesn’t look like he’s been working much over the past year and when I met him at 7am on Saturday morning he was surrounded by empty cider bottles, although I could be wrong about the work comment as I didn’t actually ask him that. He speaks perfect English and couldn’t really understand what the hell I was doing down the beach on a rainy, windy Saturday morning so early, armed with piping hot coffee and fresh donuts which I’d just picked up from the bakers in Barnstaple, but he was pretty stoked to see me.
Just started doing these Analog coffee mornings you see, the idea is to just rock up down the beach put up a gazebo and just give out free coffee and donuts to whoever passes by and have a little chin wag and hang out. Unfortunately on Saturday the weather was horrific with wind and rain and Szczepan was the only bloke down there for the first 30 mins but it did pick up and by 8am the word had spread and everyone was digging the free refreshments courtesy of AG. Luckily for me I persuaded my mate A Blake to come down and help so I wasn’t too suicidal when I was struggling with the gazebo in the rain, nice bloke, big features generally.
I’m hoping Szczepan will be down there when we do the next one as we got on so well, I said I'd let him know so he can make another appearance but he's a pretty hard guy to keep in contact with as he's not on facebook yet.

Chuckle Brothers

Check out Paul and Barry Chuckle this morning in Croyde; think they were filming some sort of comedy sketch in the village ‘Chuckle brothers go surfing’ or something along those lines. 'To me, to you, to me, to you'!
Actually, if you haven't guessed already, its not the Chuckle Brothers but it is like something they'd do, and if i'm honest I haven’t got the foggiest who these guys are, apart from i guess there heading to surf the infamous Croyde low tide as they heard in The Thatch last night that there's some sick banks at the north end at the moment, and you can obviously tell by the little looks on their little faces they don’t know me. But I just couldn’t help but get a photo, seen quite a few of these little scenarios in the past week but this is the first time I’ve actually managed to capture and document one.
 Your probably thinking what the hell am I dribbling on about, but look closely at the photo again and tell me what’s wrong with it! You don’t have to be a surfer or even have studied physics at a degree level to work this one out. Yet why do you see this so often? Or is it a ‘logic’ thing going on here ‘well that’s how they’re supposed to go in the sea, so obviously that’s how they go on the roof rack’ This sort of thing goes in the same category as the Wetsuit Shopping situation that I mentioned a few weeks back, actually in fact the driver does look familiar, doesn’t he?
Hells bells this is summer and surfing in the UK and I freaking love it.