Andrew Cotton

Sunday, 12 December 2010

Britain's best naked Plumber

“What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing bey?” “What’s it look like Barry” “I’m being Britain’s best naked plumber.”  
I know it is a slightly odd thing to do on a building site and Barry was slightly worried about the Health and Safety aspects but I had to start somewhere if I really want to make a name for myself in this plumbing world. I did originally enter myself for Britain’s best young plumber award which was on TV the other week but I didn’t even make it through the first round, they said I wasn’t passionate or committed enough and the fact I only really plumbed for about 2 months of the year I couldn’t really even call myself a plumber and there was a slight indication what sort of person they were looking for in the title and being 30 doesn’t really qualify me as ‘young’.
Obviously I told them I didn’t even want to be in there shit programme anyway and was going to make my own award and programme hence me being butt naked at work on Friday morning, thing is I’ve got to act fast if I want to make it as the best naked plumber in Britain because come January I don’t have the slightest intention of plumbing one bit, in fact on new year’s eve I’m going to drive to Baggy Point and launch my pipe benders off the end then throw all my spanners at the moon. But until then I am available for hire, although I do charge slightly more for the naked plumbing day rate as I am currently the best in Britain.


  1. Uhhh.....I just climaxed everywhere!

    Love Ben Selway

  2. your actually 31 i think mate

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