Andrew Cotton

Sunday, 30 January 2011

New Irish Cola

Mikey’s just arrived for a few days in the emerald isle, nice guy but not to be 100% trusted so all valuables and processions wanted are kept under lock and key. It’s not a racial thing it’s just I’ve learnt from my mistakes in the past when he lured me into a false sense of security and trust then when I was at my most venerable stole my flip flops pretty much from under my feet.
He’s come to do some filming which is kind of strange and I’m struggling to come to terms with it as whenever I usually spend any time with this thieving South African we’re in the sea together surfing and the oddest thing is that he hasn’t even bought a surfboard. He’s got a wetsuit though and I’ve told him that if we get some good clips we’ll go for a little wooden belly board together as a special treat as I know he loves ridding all sorts of water craft and to be honest is pretty talented at ridding them too, actually to be fair I’m not completely sure who should be filming who.
The best thing though is that he does seem to be enjoying this new Irish cola I’ve introduced him too and who can blame him.

Saturday, 22 January 2011

Annoying dog next door

I just love hanging out with all types of animals it really makes my day, they just seem never to get bored and always happy to see you, well except our next door neighbour’s dog which constantly seems to bark at you. She keeps coming out and apologising for it's continuous outbursts and noise pollution saying ‘don’t be scared it won’t bite’ and ‘its only barking cause he knows no one should be living there.’ Like I’m going to be scared of that little yapping thing it’s about the size of a fecking rabbit, plus I know she’s lying because I’ve seen the fecking thing barking at everything and anyone that passes the house. Anyway apart from the stupid little barking rabbit dog thing that lives next door I love all animals.
Been seeing a lot of donkeys recently and there soon turning into my new favourite. This is Lionel and Neil, we met for the first time just yesterday but we seemed to click and there now on my list of animals to visit whenever I’ve got a spare 5 minutes.
As for the surf, yeah it’s been pumping, yeah we’re been getting barrelled and yeah we’ve been having fun, haven’t got any footage or photos of it though but I have got a couple of epic donkey ones.  

Thursday, 20 January 2011

Giant Cow contest

After 9 hours of driving a 2 ½  hour flight and a 1 ½ hour long heat in 10-12 ft solid surf you don’t really feel like chatting to people or even being slightly sociable.
Just been down in Santander for the Quicksilver La Vaca IV gigantica big wave paddle comp you see and although it didn’t go exactly to plan we had some good times. I got to pick up my new Channel Islands 9’3” gun which the guys at Analog very kindly gave me and I also got to surf La Vaca which means ‘Giant cow’ but unfortunately the final was pulled due to the inconsistent swell. Pretty typical really because out of the 16 invitees myself and Al made it to the final 8 which I was pretty stoked about, I think it’s been some time since i've actually made it through a heat as my competitive side of things has never been that hot.
Don’t think this old fella was judging or had anything to do with the contest for that matter but he seemed happy as Larry cruising around the competitors area making the most of the free food and drink, I haven’t got a clue what his name is and to be fair couldn’t understand a word he was saying but he was smiling a lot and gesticulating about which I thought was brilliant, I think he’s in training and wants to get involved for next year. I can’t wait.

Friday, 14 January 2011


I’ve got this strange habit of obsessing with a word then repeating it constantly and randomly putting it into sentences where it doesn’t make any sense what so ever, it doesn’t even have to be a word sometimes it’s just a noise. firstly I went through a phase of going ‘mi’ all the time, it didn’t mean anything I just kept doing it, then it was ‘woof’ like the dog bark and then I couldn’t help but say ‘midgets ‘ at everything and everyone I saw or met. It must be a nightmare for anyone who spends anytime with me, not just because I’m really annoying to be around when I’m bleating on about nonsense making odd noises but I’ve also noticed that it rubs off on people too. If I say a word enough other people I’m with subconsciously start saying it and using it. The past month I’ve been obsessed with the word ‘dick’ I’m constantly saying it to myself and manage to slip it in to most conversations and scenario’s. The worst is when i'm looking for a word in my head but end up just replacing the word i'm wanting to say with dick.
Yesterday I had a full on wrestling match with the ski on a remote beach after a little mission we had looking for waves, almost loosing the plot and thinking to myself we’d never get the fecking ski off the beach I went dick crazy. I must of repeated it about 100 times as I tried to get the ski onto the trailer and the trailer off the fecking sand. We did it in the end and I’m not going to lie it was a mission but the funny thing was, when we’d got changed and started heading off for home Lyndon looked at me and said ‘that was a right old dick fight’  I just replied ‘ yep a fecking massive one.’

Tuesday, 11 January 2011


Builders and tradesman have this funny knack of blaming each other when things aren’t running to schedule, it’s like ‘oh things are taking so long because I’m waiting for the carpenter’ which then gets the customer off their backs and onto the said trade that was mentioned. It’s happened to me a few times before, getting calls telling me i'm holding everything up like and there life depends on it then when you get there all you have to do is turn off a tap or less, but you just take it on the chin then give as good as you get next time a similar situation arises.
This sort of happened this week; I’ve been putting off leaving Devon as I’ve been waiting to finish some bathrooms. Getting more impatient and not wanting to miss any more swells I booked my ticket regardless of my little plumbing jobs but as I left work yesterday I got asked the golden question ‘when do you think the on-suite will be finished?’ I just replied ‘probably not for some time as I’m going away for a bit tomorrow’ then I quickly put in ‘I’ve been trying to get in there for weeks but the tiller has been holding me up’. Technically I wasn’t lying as I would of had it done if he hadn’t been in there the last 2 days although it was me holding him up in the first place but like I say I had to blame someone and it’s not like I’ve left them without a toilet or running water and i'm sure the tiller would of done the same to me if it was the other way round.
Oh yeah and Red Bull have given us a ski to use, it’s a Kawasaki 1600 supercharged which is 250Hp, the thing is deadly and could do some serious damage. Me and Lyndon took it for a little spin the other day to see how it goes.....Look out!
Photo: Rob Tibbles

Sunday, 9 January 2011


Remember the time that Braunton man caught that massive fish that everyone was talking about which made the cut for the back page of the North Devon Journal. Well for Christmas my good mate Wakey got him to sign a copy and framed it for me. I’m so stoked and think it’s possibly the best present I had this year, well apart from the handkerchiefs my mum bought me from Marks and Spencers which left me slightly confused. Do grown men even use handkerchiefs? I always thought it was young kids and OAP’s, but I thanked her none the less.
‘To Andrew, Maybe one day you’ll be as famous as me! Cheers Leggey’ is what he wrote at the top of it and hopefully he’s right. I’m going to take it to Ireland with me where it’s going to take pride and place on my bedside table and every morning I’ll look at and use it as inspiration to help me get through my day. Who knows maybe one day when I’m broke, desperate and homeless it will be worth a shit load of cash and I’ll sell it on eBay.
Cheers for the present Wakey yer BSD, top bloke and thank you leggey for taking the time out of your busy fishing schedule to sign it for me.