Andrew Cotton

Thursday, 29 July 2010

who steals used flip flops?

You should see their little faces; I think I’ve found my vocation in life as some sort of motivational speaker and team leader.
 Any way enough of them check out my new Gravis flip flops which I got just in time for my adult/guardian/mentor role in Spain. I finally received them after about 3 months and about 30 emails. Just for your information there’s about 6 pairs of these flops somewhere in Europe in little parcels all with my name and address on missing, or that’s what Charlie from gravis has had me believe, I have no reason not too as he’s a pretty straight up kind of guy. It’s no surprise really as I said to him the other day ‘me and flip flops are jinxed’ I just can’t seem to keep a pair for more than a couple of weeks, which really fecks me off as it always takes at least a week to break any worthy flip flop in and make them feel like they’ve really become a part of you. Who the fuck steals flip flops anyway?
I’ll give you a example of this so if you can’t be arsed to read on I’ll understand as this could be a pretty boring post but then again some people might be genuinely interested in my flip flop tails of wow and a insight to the kind of person who actually steals a pair of second hand flip flops.
This pair was my first pair which I’d managed to keep hold of for a record amount of weeks and I believe was my best pair to date. I wasn’t oblivious though as I knew people had their eyes on them, the odd comment here and there like ‘nice flops cott they look super comfy’ then out the corner of my eye I would see them quietly trying them on for size.
Whilst in Hawaii last year my little African friend Mikey said these sorts of things a lot and I knew I could never trust him,  I’d been warned about saffa’s in the past and also experienced them first hand, Devon’s full of them! but I’m not one to stereotype and would give anyone the benefit of the doubt and to be fair we were getting along nicely and formed a good little partnership in the surf and on the social side too, pushing ourselves above and beyond on more than a few occasions.
Lesson learned right there as one morning I woke up to find my flip flops missing, foggy headed I searched franticly, re traced my tracks and even missed my morning surf due to my concerns. How could I surf? All I could think about was my flops. I went a step further and started asking complete strangers if they’d seen them and filled out a ‘MISSING’ advert and posted it in Foodland, but all this was to no avail, Vanished into thin air suspiciously along with my friend Mikey too.
3 months later I get a call from my old boss at the RNLI saying they had a package for me which had just turned up addressed very oddly; Att: Andrew Cotton,  RNLI lifeguard, Croyde beach, Croyde, Devon.
I couldn’t even believe that this had ever reached me and to my surprise when I opened the package it was my flip flops. Barely recognisable, pretty much worn through and with the right one carrying a broken thong, my heart sank and a tear came to my eye, at least they found their way home and I could lay them to rest.
Turned out Mikey did have a conscience, although he returned them used, abused and unusable he did return them.
If anyone comes across the other 6 pairs that i never received from gravis but were addressed correctly please let me know. Wonder how long these bad boys will last?

1 comment:

  1. HaHA, I remember you couldnt find your flops in Hawaii! Mikee being the main suspect, I didnt know he took them tho...thats hysterical! He is some kind of character!