Andrew Cotton

Sunday 18 July 2010

Our lives there hands

Now don’t get me wrong, I know how important security is and I understand the problems we're facing, what with terrorism and airports and all but sometimes I just don't get people who work at these security check points. What sort of courses do they put them on and is there actually an exam at the end whereby some means they can pass or fail? Because at the end of the day these people are responsible for our safety in the air and are there to stop some mentalist from blowing up a plane or some other crazy shit they might have come up with or feel the need to inflict on others.
So this is a little real life scenario I had last winter when travelling to a big wave contest in Oregon. My bag got taken to one side after going through the scanner along with my shoes and other personal belongings. The security guy does the usual questions 'Is this your bag' 'did you pack it yourself' and then asks me to come to another desk. He ends up emptying my bag and putting all my things back through the scanner.
When I travel to go tow surfing I take dive weights which I attach to my board depending on conditions, size of swell and the weight I want my board. I carry them in my hand luggage as I have a few different weights and all combined there fair heavy and its less excess luggage. These weights seemed be causing some sort of situation amongst the security team in Chicago international airport. I piped up and politely said 'they're dive weights if you're wondering what they are' the man rudely shouted back 'I know what they are'. Then while I'm standing there watching, waiting, I see one of them mimicking hitting his colleagues over the head with one of the said weights which he held in his hand.
After a couple more minutes of what looked like some sort of basketball team talk around my belongings the guy came back to me. 'These here dive weights could be used as an extreme weapon if you chose to.' He once again picked up the weight and mimicked hitting someone over the head with it. 'Oh' is all I said. 'Well, I don't plan to use it in that way.' There was a bit of a silence and I could see in his eyes he was thinking hard of what to say next. 'Well that's good then cause you could do some real damage with these if you used them as a weapon'.
So after telling me how dangerous my dive weights could be to myself and others around me I was preparing for the worst, waiting for the words 'I'm going to have to take these off you'. I took some deep breaths and used my Chinese self-calming techniques I learnt from being in these sort of life situations before, But just as I was about as calm as I could be possible be he simply bypassed this completely and told me I could re-pack my bag and carry onto my boarding gate. You what? After all that. Has the world gone mad? He just told me how dangerous this weight could be as a weapon. Showed me how to use it and then packed me off on my way to board my next plane! Just in case you wondered I didn’t use the weights as a weapon but I did attach them to my board when I got to Lincoln City.

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