Andrew Cotton

Monday, 3 October 2011


HAPPYLAND a place where you wear nothing but a smile on your face, money means nothing and the burgers and chips are free. It’s not it’s a tacky amusements in Bournemouth on the sea front where I was this weekend at the European IRB Championships where I was doing a bit of safety cover. I’m new to all this IRB racing scene which is part of the whole Surf Life Saving sport so I was calling it RIB racing for the first 24 hours until I realised I was just embarrassing myself and confirming I was completely out the loop.
So what would I say about IRB racing then, well like all surf life savers they love walking around in there dick togs and have to wear something at all times that either says LIFEGUARD, RESCUE, IRB or RNLI on it which is far enough. As for the racing part, well pretty much grown men and the occasional woman jump in their boats really fast, hoon across flat water, throw a young girl or the occasional boy into their boat really fast, which is classed as the rescue then hoon back. Its carnage and looks freaking dangerous to me but these guys take it dam serious. As long as there having fun that’s the main thing really.


  1. Well obviously someone has a stick up their arse. IRB racing is not about hooning about, we practice all year so we can demonstrate a little bit of what we do. Most of us are Lifeguards paid or voluntary spending most of our free time doing anything from IRB training and race training to teaching the nippers how to save lives and patrolling the beaches where we live. we use these IRB's to patrol our beaches all through the summer and the few championships is the only time we use these boats for racing and demonstrate the skill needed to drive the IRB's fast but SAFE, otherwise we wouldn't do it and in case you haven't realized the boats are soft so at most you will get a bruise if it hits you. Stop moaning about the people that volunteer there time on the beach in the summer helping people stay safe on the beach and go find something worth moaning. Well done now you've annoyed the people you might depend on one day to save your life.

  2. IRBmad read the post again, sorry to offend but also maybe read a couple more of my posts, its all light hearted fun mainly taking the piss out of myself. I haven't moaned just described what i personally saw and as i said ' these guys take it dam serious'

  3. You have to laugh at lifeguards really- a lot of them hoon it around in their skis, chopping up the waves, posing in their gear etc, but when it comes to it, a load of them can't paddle out when it's over 5 foot.
    I had to laugh the other day when they had an event but cancelled it because the surf was "..too big..".

    Not knocking what they do, who they save, what a great job they do etc, but when the surf gets up, I don't trust anyone but myself.

  4. anyone can get a shortboard out back, getting a rescue board out is something entirely different. ans as per the cancellation health and safety has turn this country into a nanny state.