Andrew Cotton

Monday, 7 February 2011

The arm waving hey technique

Awww bless him, look how happy and content little Lyndon looks. This whoever wasn’t the case early on when all you could see was fear and panic in his eyes.
How annoying is it when your car doesn’t start, it usually happens when you’re in a rush, late for work or urgently need to be somewhere. Then out of the blue and with no explanation your car just won’t start, It’s never done it before and quite possibly won’t do it again which makes it all the bit more tedious and annoying, Well that sort of happened to us the other day.
Floating out to sea beside a off shore bombie we’d been checking out, I was pressing START but all that was happening was the engine was turning over and  whining yet not actually sparking, no biggie really apart from the set of the day was loaming and we had drifted right into the line of fire.
‘It’s not starting’ I shouted to Lyndon as I turned everything off and re set the immobilizer in a small attempt to make it look like I know what I’m doing, still no joy just the woeful sound of the engine whining. ‘We’re fucked’ was Lyndon’s reply as he descended into a whole world of pain, panic and probably self questioning as the set became closer and it was an almost certain we’d get hit by it, then  bizarrely he stands up waving his hands above his head shouting ‘hey’ at the top of his voice. God knows who he was doing this too or even excepted to help in such short notice, maybe he was trying to confront and scare the waves off like you’re supposed to do when you’re faced with a wild beast. I wasn’t going to question him I just kept pressing START and was planning when to actually abandon ship and how fast and what direction I’d have to swim to get the fecking thing back, then almost like a miracle or someone playing a really bad joke she fired and the engine fully kicked in just in time for us to squeak over the shoulder of the first wave. Might have to take up that ‘arm waving hey technique’ next time I’m having engine troubles, seems to work wonders.

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