Andrew Cotton

Sunday, 22 May 2011


Had my first shave In over a month yesterday, not that I was being lazy not shaving or anything but remember that time I had to leave my bag in Heathrow because of the excess luggage scenario and that bitch trying to rip me off a grand, well one of the things I left in it was my electric razor charger and I’ve only just got the bag back. Obviously you’re thinking I could of had a wet shave but I couldn’t bring myself to do it, tried it once when I first started shaving and it really hurt my face and I came up with a rash on my neck so I vowed never to do it again.So been home in Devon for a few weeks now and they haven’t been the best, I started to get sick in Jakarta on the way back from Indo and haven’t been on top form since, I sought medical advice from Dr Baker just before we started our separate missions home and he told me ‘Keep washing your hands and face and take these tablets every 4 hours and you’ll be fine’ and handed me a packet of lemsips. I was grateful obviously as it wasn’t like he charged me for the consultation or the lemsips but as I lay on the floor in the airport freezing cold, shivering yet sweating my tits off I couldn’t help but think ‘ why the fuck does he want me to keep washing my hands and face?’
So this is Tommy the Tortoise, my Mum and Dad looked after it a while back and I just found a photo of it on my phone, I was looking for a relevant photo of Dr Baker, the one I had in mind was a photo I saw on Facebook of him in make up dressed as a woman doing his funny little wrist thing that he does. But for the life of me I can’t find it which is a little disappointing so Tommy will have to do.

1 comment:

  1. ah, bad times..I hope you are on the mend...maybe your facial hair was carrying some tropical disease...little amoeba (or amoebe?) carrying the notorious sweat your tits off lurgy, hence the need to wash your face. The cure may be in the shave. Every Doctor has tortoise mannerisms I reckon, it's in that outstretched arm movement they do for emphasis, then clasp their fingers Tommy is illustrating. Please note, I don't really mean to suggest your unshaven face was actually a lurgy breeding ground, digging a hole now so I'll shut up x :)